You can’t be too careful if you’re a superhero with a secret identity and you need to be even more careful with your credit rating. What I mean to say is that Bruce Wayne only keeps his superhero identity a secret because he’s worried about his bottom line. Bruce Wayne is looking out for himself first-and-foremost; who is he defending? Alfred? Come on! Bruce Wayne is worried that if he is exposed as Batman he is looking at potential civil lawsuits due to wrongful death claims or city and personal property damage. Gotham might not be in the red each financial quarter if they could get the real monetary black-hole to pay up. How many potholes are Batman’s little escapades costing the average Gotham resident? Sure, he might be extending work to the skilled trade unions but I would hardly call him a philanthropist because he destabilized a building with a fight with the Joker and now architects and engineers (maybe even electricians and plumbers depending on the damage) have to fix it.

Above all of that though, above all of it, rests the fact that in this digital age the ability for identity theft has grown exponentially. If the entire criminal world knew that Batman and Bruce Wayne were one than you can be sure there would be a whole new way to defeat their arch nemesis. They are going to steal his identity, buy a metric ton of high-end electronic devices and completely ruin the Wayne credit history; a credit history Bruce’s parents worked damn hard to make triple-A platinum status.

Luckily, for Captain Conifer he has terrible credit. He isn’t big into the digital age  and doesn’t have a Facebook page. He is mostly into digging the synthesis of man and the natural world; I heard he likes running naked through fields of dandelions (this is unconfirmed). Captain Conifer, aka Thaddeus Shrub, spends his time communing with the trees and hardy low-growing shrubbery of desert areas. Like all super geniuses, The Medical Doctor, doesn’t realize that even by ruining his credit he will do little to quell the Conifer’s wrath!  Silly silly supervillians.