This is how to evict a Bitizen...
In what seemed to take a couple of eternities to complete I have finally defeated Tiny Town for my iPhone. I use “defeated” very loosely because if you have ever played the game before you know there is no end. So now I sit in a suspended state waiting for Nimblebit to release a new update to their tower sim. I am not idle though, because of months of driving my elevator upward and restocking, restocking, restocking, and did I mention restocking my brain has become addicted to the act of playing this game. It is my phone crack. While I know there are classic games out there that are better, such as SimTower or Yoot Tower (which I haven’t played), I can’t help but deny the charm of the simplicity of Tiny Tower. I am completely enamored with the 8-bit graphics, not because I am some type of hipster towards classic video games but because I grew up with classic video games and it gives me a nice sense of nostalgia. I still remember my first morning waking up to find my dad playing Pitfall, but that is another story.
Tiny Tower became the best five-minute (ten-minute once I broke 120 floors) break from reality I could ever ask for. Oh, my children are screaming at one another? Someone colored someone with a permanent marker? Well I guess I should go and deal with… No! my woodshop (Skyrim Carpentry [a window into my other obsession]) needs stocking. “Settle your differences on your own kids; it will be a good learning experience! I’m joking; mostly. 153 floors later I have purchased all the costumes, got everyone into their dream job, and claimed the best elevator as my own. This doesn’t sound like too much of a great feat but I spent the time doing this without the help of in-app purchases. So while this is still not going to get me a Nobel Peace Prize it does let me rest my head at night knowing I worked at this the long hard way (no, I did not use the clock cheat either).
For all of this joy though there is a dark side. A dark side the involves me building empty floors with nothing to put in them. I am a billionaire with an architect on the payroll that has nothing better to do than to waste my money on something that benefits only my own inflated glory. Do I care for my Bitizens? No, in fact, I was prone to evicting the little buggers as soon as they moved in if they did not help to advance my overall playing strategy. Did I bother reading their happy comments in the Bitbook? No, then I might have formed an unhealthy attachment to their meaningless lives; Susan Rogers may want to start a tuba band but she is only a 4 in Creativity for a business that already has three level 9 Bitizens in their dream job. Susan you are being evicted; I would strangely on occasion picture pushing them off the roof of my highrise to make their moving out much more dramatic. Soon I would welcome Peter Daniels to the building… nope, to the roof with you!
So I admit it, I’m a slumlord in Tiny Tower. There is an even darker side to me now though, I started playing Zynga’s Dream Heights. I know, I know. Spare me your lectures about the similarities of the two games, but daddy needs to hear the ding of a fully stocked item; I need the chill in the make-believe air of my building kissing the crystalline cloud formations in the heavens. I have a problem, but I love my problem.
r. Thorguston: Animal Therapist”. In the end, nothing has greatly changed other than the presentation of the comic. It is in essence the same joke: eating kids is taboo but sometimes you can’t help yourself” but now the focus is pulled from the amorphous ”therapy” into a more universe defining situation. The idea of the change (for the better IMO) came late last night after work and I didn’t have the desire to boot up the computer overlord and change it then.
